My son is Autistic and has been in a developmentally delayed class for a few years now. I was excited when I found out that we were was finally going to be able to have the opportunity to be around others that understand. I thought that others in this situation branched out and showed support. Hardly the case... Parents in the class keep to themselves and aren't really social? For 3 years I have invited around 20 kids each time for my sons birthday party and have had very little success. One year no one came. We have also joined a group for Autistic children. They don't even communicate with each other!!??... They get together once a month and that's it.
With that being said, my son is showing a lot of social progress. It's a happy time and yet a very sad one for us.My husband and I are both military and have finally settled in a home far from our family. Our son literally has no one to play with. He tries to play with other kids, but due to his lack of social skills other children kinda look at him like he's a freak. It saddens me. Well, I would like to arrange a play-date with the other kids in his classroom because I'm sure that some of the other kids/parents have experienced this. This is a very important opportunity for both my son and I. In past circumstances, I haven't done so well with having a good turnout to our events. I want to make sure that I schedule it a a comfortable time and place. I don't have the phone numbers, e-mail or addresses of the other parents in class. So I will have to send invitations through his teachers. Can anyone please give me advice on how to make a successful play-date? Thank you and have a good day!|||I'm an adult with Asperger's syndrome (which is an autism spectrum disorder) and I think I can give you some advice.
The first thing that comes to mind is that an event with 20 autistic children is not a very good idea. Most autistic children have sensory issues and could easily be overstimulated in such circumstances, and they also usually find it harder to function in large groups. I think that the other parents may not have wanted their kids to go to your previous events out of worry that it would just result in their child feeling overwhelmed and having a meltdown.
It would be a better idea to invite fewer children at a time, for example 3-5. That way there is less chance of them feeling overwhelmed and you will be better able to ensure that the environment is suitable for them and that they can enjoy themselves and participate on their own terms.
Instead of reaching out to all the other parents at a time through group invitations, you could maybe try to contact just a few of them and try to establish a more personal, one on one contact with them and see if that works better. Keep in mind that some of the parents may actually be on the autism spectrum too, so they may not socialize the same way you do and may prefer one on one interactions over group settings.
It's possible to set up a play date without making a big event out of it. It doesn't necessarily have to be a group of kids all the time. Your son may for example enjoy having just one or two friends over at a time and just play a bit together without making a big deal out of it. You could maybe try to find out if some of his classmates have similar interests as him and then invite them over to do something related to that interest together, as that might be something that would help them develop a friendship over. If things go well you could maybe discuss with their parents about making their playdates a regular thing, like meeting once per week at a specific time to play for two hours. That would make it easier to incorporate it into their routine.
Do you ever meet the other parents? For example when dropping off or picking up the kids at school or when going to parent teacher meetings? That could be a good opportunity to talk to some of the parents. Maybe the teacher can also help you get in contact with some of the other parents without having to always be a messenger in between. Maybe she knows which parents might be open to something like this, or you could ask her to pass on your contact information to someone who might be approachable. The teacher also knows the kids and may have some good ideas about how to set up a suitable playdate for them.
I think it would be a good idea to allow the other parents to participate and be present during playdates, as they may worry about whether their child will be able to handle the situation and they may be nervous about leaving their child with someone who doesn't know their individual needs or who their child doesn't know or feel comfortable with.
Good luck! I hope you can find a way to help your son make some friends.|||For starters, the party with 20 kids is a bad idea, as most autistic kids have issues with over stimulation. So small quiet groups work best. Talk to the teacher on how to best handle this.|||have you tried www.meetup.com
are you registered with the state division of developmenta disabiltis..they might have recreation programs
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